Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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