I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
