Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
