i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
