2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
