so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
