I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
