You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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