If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
