no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
