She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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