I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i think im in europe. pls send help
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
