I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
