I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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