I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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