how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
