Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
