my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
