So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
How external is "for external use only"?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
