There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
