you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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