I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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