better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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