I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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