Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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