Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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