When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
