thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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