Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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