So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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