He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
