so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
