I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
