take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
