I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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