Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
