everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
