Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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