I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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