Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I wear drunk well.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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