i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
