god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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