I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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