Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
