dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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