I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
this will be a night to untag.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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