Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
