$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
