The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
