Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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